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  • Writer's pictureBrian Davidson, PMP, CSM

This Valentine's Day, Take a More Structured Approach to Nurturing & Growing Your Relationship


Valentine's Day is commonly seen as a time for romantic gestures and gift-giving, but it also presents a unique opportunity to truly fortify and deepen your bond with your partner. This article delves into how the strategic project management principles from "The Project Leader" can be ingeniously applied to relationship development, helping couples not only to set goals for a single day but to maintain and build upon these aims throughout the entire year. By adopting a more structured approach to your relationship goals, you and your partner can transform everyday interactions into a series of meaningful steps towards a more fulfilling partnership.

Part 1: Chart the Course

To commence, it's essential for both partners to articulate and agree on what they aspire to accomplish in their relationship by the time the next Valentine's Day rolls around. Are you looking to enhance your communication, spend more quality time together, or perhaps address and heal from past conflicts? Defining these goals with clarity and precision allows you to set tangible targets, such as committing to spend at least two evenings together each week, uninterrupted by outside distractions. These targets should not only be measurable but should also contribute significantly to the strengthening of your relationship.

Part 2: Establish a Shared Understanding

After setting these goals, the next step involves breaking them down into specific, actionable steps. This might entail planning regular date nights, enrolling in couples' therapy, or simply dedicating a few minutes each evening to share details about each other's day. It is critical that both partners fully understand and agree to these commitments. This mutual agreement serves as a crucial roadmap for navigating the future together, ensuring that both individuals are aligned in their expectations and contributions towards achieving their common objectives.

Part 3: Navigate the Obstacles

Challenges in a relationship are as inevitable as they are diverse, ranging from work-related stress and extended family dynamics to personal health issues. Proactively identifying these potential obstacles and openly discussing them are key to mitigating their potential to disrupt your relationship. Developing strategies to manage these challenges is crucial; this might include negotiating work-life boundaries, creating a protocol for handling stress, or agreeing on ways to support each other through personal difficulties. Such strategies not only prevent these issues from derailing your relationship goals but also strengthen your partnership by fostering trust and mutual support.

Part 4: Focus on the Goal

Amidst the chaos of daily life, it's remarkably easy for long-term goals to become overshadowed by immediate concerns. To prevent this, it’s beneficial to institute regular reminders of the commitments you've made to each other, celebrate even the smallest achievements, and consistently reassess and adjust your relationship strategies to better suit evolving needs and circumstances. This persistent focus and dedication to your relationship goals are vital for maintaining momentum and ensuring that every effort contributes positively to the growth and enrichment of your relationship.


While adopting a project management approach to personal relationships might seem formal or unorthodox, it provides a clear, systematic path to deeper understanding and more meaningful interactions with your partner. This Valentine's Day, challenge yourselves to look beyond conventional celebrations. Embrace a commitment to nurturing and growing your relationship not just for a day, but as an ongoing journey of love and mutual development.


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